We get letters, again

You know what they say; put it out there, you’ll get it back.  So wasn’t I just tickled to see some of these exciting responses to my recent open letter to spammers!

 First of all I want to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there. I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or tips? Many thanks!

says “Anti Aging Face Cream.”  Well, Anti Aging (may I just call you Aging?  I mean, we all are, no sense dwelling on the fleeting nature of life here, and I have no way of knowing if you’re really someone’s aunt, no matter how many picnics you spoil), this is actually a pretty legitimate question even coming from a bot trying to put a link on my site to bump up its Google ranking (and boy, have you got the wrong site).  I don’t center, I don’t clear my thoughts.  Stormy thoughts are where some of the best ideas come from.  It’s better to let things spill all over the page in a messy first draft and worry about the logic and the order later.  Let the right brain go unfettered first and then use the left brain to clean it up.  Does that help? Good luck with your complexion!

Napoleon writes:

Great work! This is the type of info that are meant to be shared around the web.  Shame on Google for now not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and visit my website . Thanks =)

How is sunny Elba these days?  I guess living in exile two hundred years in the past there’s little to do but surf blogs to gum up with nonsense.  Think I’ll pass on visiting your website, I know the inferiority complex you have and I can’t imagine how you’d feel, being dead and all, to be confronted by a living person who can write in proper sentences.  I appreciate the attempt at levity with the smiley face though, that was awesome, dude.

Trust But Verify opines:

I simply wanted to say thanks all over again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have carried out without the entire suggestions revealed by you concerning such problem. This has been a very horrifying scenario for me personally, nevertheless coming across a skilled strategy you managed that forced me to leap over contentment. I will be grateful for this support and thus sincerely hope you comprehend what an amazing job you were getting into educating people today using your web site. Probably you’ve never got to know all of us.

Well, I feel for your personal tragedy in this case, but you commented on the post about why I thought it wasn’t a good idea for authors to reveal who they think should play their characters in movie adaptations.  I mean, I’m really sorry you were so horrified that you wanted Christian Bale and your fans preferred Pee-Wee Herman.  I can’t speak to the years of therapy you’d require to purge that horrendous image from your mind, and you have my sympathies.  If there’s one thing I’m sorry about it’s that I can’t get to know all of you, as you say.  The fact that you don’t exist is the main reason, so don’t go putting it all back on me, you douchey little phantom, you.

Golden Retriver labrador woofs:

It’s in reality a great and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

I am stunned, STUNNED that you were able to type this out with your paws when your owner was clearly not looking.  Are you from that Dog with a Blog show?  It totally kicks Game of Thrones’ ass all over the dial.

And… delete, delete, delete, delete.  Try again, bots.  Thanks for playing!